Till We Meet Again - Love you Jess

On November 14, 2011, my life changed forever.  A huge hole, that I never imagined would come to my life, came.  One of my dearest friends went to be with our Saviour.  I got the call Monday morning and I can't really remember much of the week's events after I got the call.  I know many of the questions that followed were painful and raw.

The call was vague and gave no details other than the horrifying truth.  I had lost a friend and didn't get to say goodbye. This particular friend was one that I talked with on a regular basis, a daily basis.  We worked through hard times and laughed through good times.  She used to tell me I was the friend she called when she needed someone to say all the nice things, even if they weren't always true.  I told her I was honest, but just did it in a nice way. We would joke around that we were Xanax for each other, when we had reached our limit for Xanax that day.  :)

I got the call from Micah, and again, I remember little from that point on.  I remember I was holding Jameson as a baby in my arms and when Micah told me the Jess was gone, I remember hearing myself screaming loudly over and over as I ran back and put Jameson in his crib.  The Shock was overwhelming to say the least and the phone calls started coming in asking if we had heard.  A good friend took Christian for us and we headed directly over to the house. 

Jess had battled bipolar for many years and she had put up one heck of a fight but the battle was so intense and in the end it won her over.  She had suffered so much and finally couldn't battle it anymore.  The sorrow and grief that followed in those next few months and years are too much to mention but God was there the whole time guiding everyone for sure.  

Jess had wanted nothing more in life than to be a wife, mother and friend the way God intended her to be.  She was able to have a son and she was a fantastic mom to him and fantastic wife to her hubby.  She had gotten pregnant and then miscarried and that grief was alot of what had overtaken her in the end.  She missed her baby.  

I know where she is and I know she is safe and sound.  My niece shared with me a dream she had after Jess died.  My niece was in Heaven and Jess was sitting in a rocking chair, rocking her baby she had miscarried while here on earth.  She was rocking her baby and smiling.  My niece asked her if she was at peace and Jess shook her head yes while she rocked her baby, smiling sweetly.  That image is what I hold onto in my head when I think of sweet Jess.  When I see her family left behind here on earth still missing her so much, I am reminded that Jess is finally at peace.  After many years of fighting that utter inner turmoil, she is at peace.  Thank you Lord for that.  Thank you for bringing Jess home to you and healing her mind there in Heaven.