My Anchor

As Micah mentioned in his perspective of the situation, after a few days stay, they finally did get me transferred to Hershey Hospital so I could have the MRI of my heart done.  I was taken by ambulance, which was not a necessity but the doctors had to be sure nothing happened on the way I guess. When we got there, they got me checked in and then started getting me prepared for the next day when I was to have the MRI.  I was very nervous. I hated new places and now I was even further away from my loved ones.  I was scared and I had heard enough about the MRIs to be anxious.  I hate small enclosed areas and I am not good at not moving. 

The next morning, the tech came to take me down to get the MRI done. I was full of anxiety about what was coming and how I would do.  .but most of all, what were they going to find?  As they situated me on the board and then rolled me into the machine, I started to get inwardly panicky.  They asked me what music I wanted to listen to and I asked if they had any christian contemporary. They said they were sure they did but it might take a little longer to find it. :)  Guess that wasn't a common request. 

They were talking to me and telling me to hold my breath and then breath and then hold my breath for longer.  I wasn't allowed to move because they needed the heart to be in the same position for all the pics.  I think I got scared when they told me they were sending the dye up through my body and I got nauseated thinking of it traveling through my body and through my heart. IT was a very cold sensation.  Finally, at one of my most panicked moments, when I wasn't sure how much more I could handle, I started to silently cry to myself. As the first few tears were streaming down my face, the music came on.  The song was a Ray Boltz song. . . .The Anchor Holds.  The words,
the anchor holds


though the ship is battered


the anchor holds


though the sails are torn


i have fallen on my knees


as i faced the raging seas


the anchor holds


in spite of the storm

came on and I started to smile. I knew God was carrying me through the storm.  NO MATTER what the outcome and what was left after the storm, the LORD was carrying me through.  I felt as though the seas were raging around me, and He was holding me.  I hadn't heard the song in years, but it ministered to my heart at that very instant and I knew God was my Anchor and that was all I needed to know at that moment.  I don't know how much longer the MRI went but it was not long in my mind. I was at peace and I felt as though God had directly spoke into my spirit at exact the precise moment I needed to hear from him.

When they brought me out and sent me to my room, I was crying as I shared with mom and Micah,  how God had shown himself to me.  Mom was crying too, of course. :)  She knew this was another moment that, while every mother wants to be there for their children and fix it all, she couldn't.  She was so glad to know that GOD, who had promised her that he would be there to take care of me, followed through with his end of the bargain.  We finally all had peace that NO MATTER what the outcome, we were gonna be okay.