Dealing with the Root of Rejection

As a young child, I learned early that rejection was a real and very harsh emotion. I think rejection can be a thing that takes ahold in your life early on and the longer your life goes, it just grows with eagerness. It might start out as a very small thing, like maybe a girl's father telling her she is ugly or fat, or maybe a parent not being involved in the child's life the way they should be. It could start with being made fun of by kids at school, or just simply the realization that you are treated differently because you are not as cute as other kids. The idea that if you don't have the right clothes or material things, that you are not worth as much as others can be an open door too. It can be all kinds of many different things.


I believe there is always a ROOT for this rejection to set in. An open doorway or a foothold. Rejection can look like many different things and when not taken care of properly, it leads to bitterness, jealousy, envy and self - hatred. It can and WILL hold a person in bondage for as long as that person allows it to run rampant.

For example, My father always felt rejected by his father (my grandfather). My grandfather was a pastor and always put others and the church before his son. My father never felt important enough to be priority in my grandfathers' life. As a boy, my father valued and desired to play sports, but because it wasn't a "service to the Lord" it was not considered priority to my grandparents. In turn, My grandfather never came to see him at his few games, thus only hurting my father and making him feel rejected. My grandfather was very involved in his daughters' lives and supported the things they did because the "could be used for the Lord." My father spent his entire life trying to get his father's approval. Was it a perception problem, or was that how it really was?? I guess we don't always know, but either way, my father spent the majority of his life feeling unloved and rejected by his father, leading to a life full of rejection filled events.

I feel as though rejection entered my brother's life as a young boy. He was always very small for his age. The doctors couldn't really explain it, and he remained small throughout all his school years. There were always comments made about his size and how small he was. As his older sister, I never understood why it would bother him. I would have done anything to be picked on about being small, because I was always commented on how large I was. I looked at it as he should be glad because he was always the center of attention and everyone always said how cute he was. What I didn't understand was that a teenager boy that loves football and only dreams of playing professional ball doesn't want to be CUTE, he wants to be BIG. He always did a very good job at hiding his pain and laughing the comments off. Over time, the size didn't come and his soul took to heart what was said about his size. This lead to a life filled with hurt and rejection for him also.

(I do have updates on these stories and how God worked in all of them, but they are later on.)

In the meantime, I feel my rejection entered into my life by my father. I love my father and we have worked a lot out in life, but things were not always perceived properly. For example, I shared with you what my father felt growing up, so now you have a 30 year old man with a daughter who is very demanding with his wife's attention. Because my father has always felt that he was not accepted and priority, he wanted to feel priority in his wife's life. He started feeling rejected, thus resenting me. I in turn started feeling rejected when he didn't make me feel as though I was his priority. Strange how that works. My father also tried very hard to give my brother the opportunities, with sports, that he had never gotten. Like, making sure he was always in whatever sport he wanted to play and coaching his team. Because my father was so hurt by what he never got as a boy, his rejection made him determined his child was not going to ever feel that way. However, in trying to make sure of that for his son, he rejected me, his daughter. He never did it intentionally, but it is how I perceived it. I felt as though the things that I valued in life were not worthy because my father didn't value them. I spent a lot of my life trying to figure out how to impress my father and get his approval.

Only in the past few months have I started to really get a grasp on the spirit of rejection that has been running rampant in my life for so many years. I am so grateful for what I am learning and this is a huge step in my new beginning. I am reading a book called "Rejection" by Henry W. Wright. It is amazing and I will be getting in to that more later.

I am so happy with where my life is now and I would go through it all again, just to be here again. I thank God that he knows what we have to face and walks through it with us. I have one more thing to say. . . .

Because Rejection has been such a part of my life, I have spent many years trying to conquer it. The one thing that has stuck out to me is as follows:

Jesus was sent here on earth and became human. He felt all the emotions and feelings we felt. At first I didn't believe it but then it went on to say that He felt REJECTION to it's fullest power when he was on the cross and God had to turn away from him because he could not look at all the sin. Wow, ultimate rejection, and it wasn't even his fault. I can honestly say, never has God turned his back on me and never has he rejected me. I praise God for that!!!! Let the healing from rejection be complete!!!