A few months ago, my life changed. I was diagnosed to have had a Heart Attack. Wow, I never expected to hear those words at age 29, nor the ones that followed. "no more biological children." Let me back up a little. . . .
I was working out at the gym, which I was doing about Four times a week. I was in the middle of the warm up song and started to have what I would describe to be chest compressions across my chest. My Left arm started to go numb and tingly and my hand was tingling. I stopped and asked a friend near me, "what side does your heart effect?" and she informed me it was the left side. At this point the pain was not really PAIN as much as discomfort and I was pretty sure I was just deficient in some sort of vitamin and so I sat out for a song or two and then started back in with the Zumba dancing. Sure enough, a few seconds in, my compressions started back up and I noticed myself trying to shake whatever was going on with my arm. I noticed in the mirror I was not smiling anymore and I decided to listen to my body and stop. I sat the rest of the hour out and though the compressions lessened they didn't go away totally. After the class, I said goodbye to all and then headed on my way home. I called my brother, who had had some heart issues in the past six years and had actually had a pacemaker placed at age 21. Trying not to alarm him, I casually asked him how it felt when he had chest pains? He started immediately with why, and what is going on and soon I told him I had just had a few issues. He thought I should head to the doctors, but I was not convinced.
I came home and decided to go ahead and have the Girls Night I had promised my four Year old daughter. My hubby went to bed and my daughter and I played games and had a tea party together. Once she went to bed, I was really tired, but I decided to google iron deficiencies on the Internet to see what was out there. I found some things that caused Angina and decided that for sure that was my issue. I believe God, once again, had his gracious hand of protection on my life. I slept really well.
The next day I got up and started about my daily routine. I was fine until I reached down to pick up my three year old son. Immediately the chest compressions started and my arm felt like a lead pipe. I noticed I started favoring my left arm, as though it was tired. I knew something wasn't right. I called the doctor and they were scheduling me for later that day. Then the nurse called me back and told me to take it easy and to be in within the next hour. I was not too alarmed. I asked my hubby to come get the kids and i drove myself to the doctors office.
I was seriously concerned, but not yet fearful. When I got in there, the doctor listened to my symptoms and then said with my brothers heart history, he would go ahead and do an EKG but he was pretty sure it was nothing. Then the nurse rolled in the machine and a few minutes later I was sitting in a chair and the doctor came strolling in. He looked slightly panicked as he was handing me 4 baby aspirin. He said, "can you call someone and have them drive you over to triage. Their was some changes on your EKG and I think you need to get checked right away." When I told him it would take my husband about half an hour to get the kids up and ready and then pick me up, he said, "that is not soon enough. Tell him to get the kids in the car and get here." Needless to say, a tad bit of fear started to set in. I also had started to have some more pain, realizing later it was probably repercussion pain.
I will end this entry with what was going through my mind as I was waiting for Micah to get there. . .
1.) What could this be God? There is no way I have heart problems. I feel so stupid for all of this.
2.) What if something is really wrong? What about my kids and hubby?
3.) Why is my arm still hurting and now I am getting scared.
However, even in this time of fear and waiting, there was a calmness. A peace . .that only God could give me.
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